F.O.C.U.S. You’ll be damned if you do…

Stamps with Eleanor Roosevelt, quoted as saying You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't

… and damned if you don’t!

We are all reminded to focus, so why do I quote Eleanor Roosevelt and say,

“You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t”"Stamps

Well, let me explain.

As I sit down to write this, I am reflecting on the last year, the challenges it has brought me, and the opportunities too. I am also thinking about the future, and where I should place my efforts. Now, I have spent a lot of my life being concerned with what other people think of what I do and say. It might be because I am human – and we all seek ‘approval’ from others. Or it may be – and I often think this – because I am adopted. Therefore, I feel that there is a part of me that was rejected early on, and ever since then I have been seeking extra approval from others – and avoiding rejection at all costs.

Whatever the reason, I do not like to have any animosity or falling out with anyone. I will go out of my way to rectify a situation and make things amicable. Over the last year, I have read a lot, and listened to a lot of ‘coaches’. A common theme is that one should NOT worry about what other people think. That instead, you should accept that not everyone will like you, or approve of what you do, but if you feel it is right, then you should still do it. To allow you to be free, and to be true to yourself, one must ignore and set aside this anxiety about what others think about you!

Now, this has been tough for me,

but I am getting there. I still have worries, often late at night, or the day after I have posted something, or commented. At these points, I now catch myself, and remind myself that I am human. It is natural to feel this way, but then to let it go, and move on.

So as I consider where to focus next, in particular for my online business, I came across the Eleanor Roosevelt quote. If we expand it, I believe it was,

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticised anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t”

Which is great advice, as if we accept that whatever we do (or don’t do!) we are going to receive some criticism, then when we do, we can process it as just part of life. By acting, or speaking, or creating, we are living! When we receive criticism or challenge – that is just life! We can celebrate that we are alive, and living life! So as Nike famously say, JFDI!

Don’t let anyone pull you down, or distract you – just do what you feel is right!

So having agreed that, and if you are still reading I hope you do agree – but if you don’t, that is fine too 😉 – let us consider why it is so important to focus?

F.O.C.U.S. is an acronym for: Follow One Course Until Successful

This is brilliant! in the digital world there are many shiny objects that distract us – the next free traffic method, or how to make Facebook ads work, or how YouTube is where it’s at, or this, or that. It is so easy to become distracted. I was too, before starting the programme I am now following – like a religion! With 4 different To Do lists, for all my different initiatives, I kept telling myself I was organised and could do them all. For more coaching tips, please see my post about how to do those things you keep putting off!

You know what? I’m not superman!

There, I’ve said it! I’m normal, average, probably fairly similar to you. I’ve made lots of mistakes, learnt from most of them. I have also had some successes, some big, some not so. I have my share of friends, and I’ve lost some too. And the thing is, now I am on this one course, one path, going in one direction I know what it truly means to focus. That is why I know I will succeed.

In our efforts to succeed, the more we focus, the more likely we are to achieve our goals. This is because – and to quote another famous person, Tony Robbins,

“Wherever focus goes, energy flows!”

We are more dedicated and single-minded in our efforts, and hence achieving something we truly focus on will always play out.

So even if you do not listen to me, listen to these two wiser souls. Make sure you FOCUS and let the energy flow!

You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t anyway!


Please share this post on Facebook and tag a friend! Let’s help each other focus, and be more successful.

By Matt

Digital Marketing Agency Owner Coach and Mentor


  1. Matt, it is amazing how many people throw comments like “just ignore what people say: or “don’t concern yourself with XYZ.” Some people are just hardwired to care about what people think about them.

    What needs to be done instead, is learn now to channel those feelings into something productive. Not as easy as it seems though (speaking from experience). I agree that finding the right program and people who are the right fit for you is the perfect place to start. You will be confidence and soon the amount of stress you put on yourself to be perfect for others decreases and you being to love being you.

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